Under the Mode 7 Ocean, Through the Mode 7 Skies

So, yeah. Spirit collection didn't get any more exciting than that. A few other characters showed up with stories I can't be bothered to retell. I'm not interested unless you're in my party, and even then I only feign interest. So, as the kids say, screw that noise.

Quest summary: Retrieve the Mana Sword.
Current goal: Retrieve the friggin' sword, okay?

...You didn't really think I would skip that, did you? I meant more like skim.

It was off to the desert, where everyone's favorite two guys who are one guy who is now two guys who are both of them were/was the boss. I couldn't tell if they were really dead this time or what, but my level up told me they were.

They guarded the entrance to the Valley of Where It's Really Quite Hot or something like that, and, no, the hotness did not refer to chicks. It referred to the flaming pits everywhere. And the pits did not refer to armpits. That's just gross. You have problems.

Anyway, inside we found the ninja queen (I think) whose name is hard to spell (/everyone/ thinks), dragging a hot chick across a bridge in the direction of the Mana Stone. Oh. Well. The best of both worlds. But which two worlds am I referring to? OOOoooOOoo a mystery that you must solve! Obviously, I threatened her for the girl. She responded by threatening me with the girl. "One more step and she goes into the flames!"

Just then a dart whizzed overhead directly into her face. She pulled it out with the greatest of glares. But it convinced her her HP was low enough for her to make a run for it.

"Jessica!" That Hawk guy I probably mentioned before rushed in, to the fallen girl's side. Dang it, why does every girl have a boyfriend already? Well, not in Amazon Fortress, but it's not like I didn't still want maximum smooches wherever I went. And I didn't want Angela because she had a habit of using sexiness offensively. Nobody likes the painful smooches.

Hawk said he was going to take her somewhere safe, and I let him. I had a ninja to whack, after all.

And, as usual, we were too late. The juice was already draining from the Mana Stone, and she was busy teleporting away before I managed to draw any kind of weapon. Salamando got SO MAD about this and joined us.

SALAMANDO GET

Next came the Forest of Kung Fu Werewolves. It's definitely called that. This beastwolfmanguy beat us to the boss, and was just lying unconscious by the time we got there. Guess who the boss was? A kung fu werewolf. He was friggin' insaaane. Luna took pity on him when he started dying and discussing his dramatic past with the beastwolfmanguy. And she revived him as a baby who promptly disappeared into the woods. Beastwolfmanguy dismissed it. "Eh. Common for beastmen." Then he ran off, saying in incredibly broken English that he would guard the entrance.

I don't know why we bothered. We had the spirit.

LUNA GET

Then off to the Forest of Racism. So named because of the hidden elf village. And it was definitely named that!

The little girl from that one Cave of Waterfalls turned up, telling us off. And as we traveled, she told us off again and again for leaving her behind. I thought she was following!

The King of All Elf-Type Stuff said something that broke her heart, and she left, probably never to be seen again but I wouldn't count on it. Faerie convinced him to tell us where to find the spirit here, and we were off to whack a plant-type boss who spat giant sleep nuts at our heads.

WHATS-HER-NAME GET

Aaand off to the Isle of Oblivion! I think there was supposed to be something special about this place, but I forgot. Faerie, with the help of all the spirits, made a rainbow sphere in midair. It slowly grew. And then it quickly shrank into nothing.

We convinced her to try again. Of course, she probably would anyway. She said a quick prayer and did her spellcasting spin. Her rainbow sphere grew slowly. Then shrank quickly.

Then grew to enormous size and floated into the air.

Faerie interrupted our victory dances. "One, that's not supposed to happen, two, how are we supposed to get up there?"

I looked up at the sound of an air raid siren. Well, judging by the airship, the Altenians had a good idea of what to

DOOM.


I don't know how much later it was when Faerie woke us up in the same place. I was a little surprised nobody had kidnapped us, honestly. But then, the bad guys were in the Holyland.

"Not to be redundant," said Faerie, "but how do we get up there?"

"Father of the Winged Ones," my mouth said without my permission.

"What's that?"

"The Father of the Winged Ones." Memories inserted themselves into my mind. "Yeah, on top of that Rolante mountain place, there is some... something. With wings, I guess."

"Worth a shot," said Faerie. So, once again, we were off on the back of the giant turtle. If we got lucky, perhaps for the last time.

An amazon greeted me at the gates to the castle. I forgot to flirt and got straight to the point. She nodded, and knocked down a wall so we could climb to the peak. Man, that was hot, I realized much too late.

Yes, hovering next to the peak was some kind of flapping furry flying thing. Argh, I ruined my x3 alliteration combo. Faerie insisted she would handle this. And, given her record, we were forced to agree.

"He looks a little young to a father, though," said Faerie, a hand on her chin. "Maybe... son, we need your help to get to the—"

It growled.

"My turn!" I said. "Lessee... my female radar is going wild, so–" At this point I remembered Angela– "er, wilder than usual. So you're a girl?"

"Yeah, of course!" said Duran. "You're just reeking with feminine beauty!"

I elbowed him in the ribs, uttering, "/My/ turn."

The beast made a noise that I could only guess was appreciative. It definitely wasn't a growl; we knew what that was. I cleared my throat. "So... so you need a cute name, right? Like Sexy Mc–"

It was my turn to be elbowed in the ribs. "Flammie." Angela was pretty good at growling too.

She made another of those appreciative noises, landing next to us and crouching to let us on. I guessed I should save the name for a more appropriate occasion anyway, clambering on.

I remembered something important that day, about when Flammie took off. I hate heights.